• Thanks to everyone who followed. Not sure when I’ll be doing this again. In the meantime, you can check out The Brad Bogner Show where we went through our thoughts on the NBA Season by clicking HERE.
• Big game from The Spaniard. 29/11. Scola didn’t play too shoddy himself, but Rory is still an idiot.
• Close! Brooks wide open for the basket, some good defense by the Lakers. Game over. Lakers now 3-2 with Jackson on ring night. A part of me is pretty pissed that we don’t get to see more basketball.
• HOU gets the ball. Something tells me Scola will find himself wide open under the basket. “But we didn’t see it coming!!!”
• On different angle, it was totally off Odom. Should be HOU possession with two seconds left. Thanks new TNT camera angle!
• And we go to the booth review. Looked like the refs made the accurate call with LAL ball.
• They’re playing my song at Staples! (Mony, Mony/Billy Idol)
• HOLY SHIT! This game is incredible. World Series, what?
• Brad Miller shooting 3’s? Scola getting wide open layups? What’s going on! /Peter King’d
• Did someone order a — Black Mamba? But seriously. He just scored his first bucket of the 4th quarter.
• LAL 104, HOU 100. By the way Harlan and Miller are talking like it’s an NCAA barnstormer of 49-48.
• We interrupt this live blogging to bring you this important video.
• This commercial thinks there will always be babies coming into the world. Uuuuuh, did you guys even see CHILDREN OF MEN?
• If you give the Rockets four shots under the basket — they might not make any of them.
• It’s a shame the Rockets will be devastated by numerous injuries this season like every year, because they have been a treat to watch tonight.
• Santosh’s text message is beginning to look conservative.
• When you Google the world “Jim,” Morrison is the first result. 2nd? Halpert.
• “Oh no you did unhhhhh!” – Sassy Chick at Staples Center upon Brown dominating the 4th quarter
• Back to that TNT camera angle. I feel like Brodie in MALLRATS. “That kid is back on the escalator!”
• Lakers still employ an organ player at all home games. Epoch win.
• These Lakers offensive possessions are backbreaking for Houston. They wait till less than 6 seconds or less on the clock, and keep sinking the shots. Somewhere in the world Jack McCallum (Six Seconds or Less) is weeping.
• Lakers were losing with Kobe. Lakers are winning without Kobe. TRANSITIVE PROPERTY SUCCESS.
• Pulling up a text message from Santosh. “Shannon Brown will be a 15/6/4 guy with 1.5 steals and 55%+ FG.” Uh, OK?
• It’s almost like the 11-time NBA Finals Champion Head Coach Phil Jackson is good at making adjustments in the second half?
• Facebook Question: Would you rather watch an episode of Seinfeld or Family Guy? Sounds like a hippie parent asking their kid if they’d rather have a nutritious meal for dinner or a hackeysack.
• I should’ve said this earlier. Please no Dexter spoilers in the talkback. I’m not current!!!
• Annnnnd we’re back to that new TNT camera angle…
• Reggie Miller: Phil Jackson has an excellent read on the heartbeat of the Lakers. Gary Vitti is weeping right now.
• TNT has this new awesome camera angle that’s called “Viewer unable to see what the fuck is going on in the game.” Not really a fan. But I’ll give it a shot.
• Is this place the appropriate forum to talk about our hatred of the Steelers? – Everyone in America
• Cheryl Miller just cut the interview with Jackson short. REVERSE POPOVICH!
• He writes some pretty terrible college essays — but this Blake fella makes a mean stew.
• Kobe and Gasol text message Jackson. It’s not a good sign that I’m as lazy as multi-millionaire athletes.
• Pft. What Lakers bench!?!? /Simmons’d
• Hey, so did you guys hear about this candidate for New York Governor running under the “Rent is too damn high” party? – Guy who’s been out of the country the past 10 days
• Houston Rockets ultimate downfall? Too many players from the Pac-10.
• Shane Battier has a book on defending Kobe Bryant. Page 1: Hope he misses shot. Page 2: Put hands up. Page 3: Mention Colorado “incident.”
• Como se dice “How do you clean Italian red wine from my MacBook?” en Italiano?
• David Stern: And you need a PhD from Harvard to open up these goddamn Evian bottled waters!
• My favorite Tony Scott film? TRUE ROMANCE. Pure ownage. 2nd place would probably be MAN ON FIRE.
• Henry Abbott is screaming at the TV right now, hoping the Lakers lose. (Kobe may or may not have touched him at an early age)
• Why is Ashton Kutcher popular again?
• I just realized that last comment was in regards to the written word previously taken down by author Michael Lewis. Since nobody in this country reads anymore, you can ignore it.
• Michael Lewis LOVES that Shane Battier foul!
• Yao Ming just hit the rim on a dunk. [Insert Rick Pitino joke]
• It’s very easy to picture Kevin Harlan’s voice in Marv Albert’s body. NOT the other way around.
• Jackson said late last week to Brian Shaw he was worried about the defense. HE SAW THIS COLLAPSE!!!
• There’s a guy on the floor right now with the name Chase. He is above the age of seven. Weird, right?
• Going with Lakers losing the game by 4 points. They’ll have a shot with about 39 seconds, and blow it.
• Reggie Miller just talked about Yao’s game in the paint like Elaine talking about the saxophonist who doesn’t perform cunninlingus. Seinfeld Reference #3.
• John Hollinger needs to invent a new statistic to discuss the disappointing play of Fisher with zero points on the board.
• What do we think of people who have their dogs as their profile avatar?
• I am the new age Dan Brown. I can’t properly express emotions, so I type in all caps with a shitload of exclamation points. “Top of the muffin — TO YOU!!!” Seinfeld Reference #2.
• Halftime Entertainment: Pau Gasol is the Deer Hunter!
• HOU 62, LAL 51. Halftime.
• No overt gesticulation in David Stern’s NBA. How long before an uneducated NBA star makes a comparison to a totalitarian regime? And who will it be? My pick is Marcus Camby.
• “The ball might’ve gone off Aaron Brooks.” The U.S. might’ve lost the ground battle to the NVA.
• DUE DATE has a Matt Walsh cameo. I’m in.
• Lakers are 2-2 on ring night under Jackson. /Elias Sports Bureau’d
• Do you think Brad Miller ever has insane headaches a la Superman hearing every voice in Metropolis cause of that insane basketball IQ?
• Martin tries a Pistol Pete style move, and fails miserably. But still scores. Purple Meat Hammer still rockin’ for GM Morey.
• My friend: I still don’t get why LeBron didn’t come to the Knicks! There’s not a fist I can use to palm the shit outta my face hard enough.
• From friend via Twitter: [Hash]Tag of the night: #lebronfail
• In other sports news during a commercial break: Boise State only won by 29 points tonight. PROOF THEY ARE NOT A GOOD TEAM!!!
• Old Man Bogner has now moved onto some extremely strong fuckin’ coffee beans to stay awake.
• Reggie Miller on Kobe having two consecutively easy baskets: You can live with that! …really?
• Reggie Miller on Brad Miller: He has excellent court vision. Shaq agrees.
• Did you like Everyone Loves Raymond? …really?
• Houston scoring at will right now. Which means they’ll struggle the second half, and everyone will be shocked. /Probability’d
• Nobody gets as excited for washed up NBA guys like the Houston Rockets. Well, the Dallas Mavericks.
• “Good game, coach. Remember when you spliced footage of me coaching with Adolf Hitler? That was a dick move.” Rick Adelman to Phil Jackson during postgame handshakes
• Is the TNT on NBA aware they will be a direct competitor to Conan’s new show?
• I ate the leftover dinner. Turns out the unrequited love I had was for my tummy. I am a narcissist.
• Newest Lakers Steve Blake college essay can be read HERE.
• Great spin move by Gasol. Was that Hakeem Olajuwon? I’ll calm down.
• Officials calling offensive pushoffs, carryovers, and illegal screens very aggressively tonight. Expect that to end by November.
• The news headlines are going to be Peter King esque tomorrow if the Lakers lose tonight. HEAT AND LAKERS IN THE NBA FINALS? NOT IF THE REST OF THE NBA HAS A SAY IN IT!!!
• HOU 4/6 from downtown.
• Has anyone ever tried the old “Fuck me if I’m wrong — but is your name Gretchen?” pickup line on a chick before?
• Someone needs to wake up Drunkstin, so he can ask me what celebrities are at this game, and then I get nervous and botch the whole process.
• Nobody reaches in and fouls while allowing the opposition to make an easy layup for the And-1 like the Lakers.
• If Sports Guy makes a “6 for 24” joke and nobody laughs, does it count as a bomb?
• Reggie Miller: I dunno how Artest at 6’7 thinks he’s scoring over the 7’6 Yao. HE’S FROM QUEENSBRIDGE, BITCH!!!
• Daryl Morey has a Purple Meat Hammer after that Kevin Martin 3-pointer.
• Nothing says NBA Fan Demographic like a small, Korean automobile!
• Is this Karl Malone Shape-Ups ad “The Mailman” being himself, or him trying to impersonate Jimmy Kimmel impersonating him?
• Dr. Dre cameo in TRAINING DAY: Powerful, moving stuff.
• HOU 15, LAL 9. It’s almost like the Lakers struggle against speedy, undersized point guards?
• People bragging that Shane Battier was a philosophy major in college, is like bragging that you saw a Favre INT in real life. I don’t “get’ that analogy either.
• In 2008, Rory tried to convince me he’d rather have Scola than Gasol. He has since reversed his opinion.
• “I don’t care that he keeps missing 3 point shots — I love Artest shooting that!” /Peter King’d
• Rockets GM Morey: We won 42 games last year, and we have Yao this year! Uh. Sure, dude.
• Am I supposed to disclose the fact I have $500 riding on the Lakers being NBA Champs?
• Ron Artest making buckets is like when I told my brother I urinated all over my carpet in the middle the night: Very Funny.
• This will be Gasol’s best season in the NBA.
• This game featured as many alley-oops in the first 4.3 seconds as the entire first game. /Elias Sports Bureau’d
• Kobe Black:Black Mamba::Michael Jordan:The Wolf
• Yao will not exceed 24 minutes at any point this season. This should be good.
• Just realized I used “you’re” instead of “your” on Live Blog Part 1. God, I am such a stupid bitch!
• America has spoken: If at all possible to start these NBA Games at 11pm est, please make it happen!
• Friend Drinking Yellow Tail — at the office! Classier.
• “We are the Champions” playing in the background. Did Freddy Mercury fuck other members in the band? Is this ancient news?
• By the way. Drinking Chianti Classico right now. Classy like a sports fanbase desperately craving attention.
• Nobody bangs 19 year olds with a big smile on his face quite like Jerry Buss.
• You guys are aware that Sharapova and Vujacic have yet to engage in sexual intercourse, right? They’re old fashioned. They stick to “letting it soak.” Urban Dictionary. Now.
• Pau Gasol speaks significantly better English than John Starks. Sasha Vujacic? Not so much.
• Pft. Artest — what a terrible role model. [I am presently wearing an Artest jersey]
• “Without him — we wouldn’t have these rings!” And Walton was talking about Lamar Odom.OHSHITMAMBASGONNACHOKEABITCH!!!
• You think LAL has a lot of assistants? Cuban wanted an assistant coach for every player in Dallas.
• I could’ve won 11 titles with Jordan and Kobe! – Guy at home eating futons with coffee stains on shirt
• Love that Seinfeld line on cleavage: You can’t stare too long — it’s like looking at the sun!
• Derrick, Friend: …and cleavage too.
• Santosh, Friend on Jeanie Buss: She’s wearing fuck me boots.
• Oh, it’s Jan! (Inside jokes are great for millions to scratch their heads at)